Why I still love the cinema

1. My TV will never be that big and my speakers will never be that loud. Not because of technology - because my wife says so.
   
2. Trailers are like mini extra movies you get for free right at the beginning. And I'm not allowed to skip them or leave the room. I've paid my money so I'm watching EVERYTHING.
   
3. The anticipation of waiting for the film to start - it sounds odd but not having control of when I want to watch it is actually fun. You have to be patient!
   
4. I can eat food without judgement because everyone is doing the same thing. Nom nom nom.
   
5. Like the library, your kids have to be quiet and not just because you say so. I can blame the spotty teenager and say they're telling them they have to be quiet.
   
6. People like The Rock appear to be better actors in the cinema.
   
7. If the film isn't very good I can relieve tension by yelling at a stranger. The wife isn't so understanding.
   
8. If I take a friend or family member to the cinema for their birthday/christmas, I get to go too. Win.
   
9. You leave the cinema feeling like the main character. If you've just seen a Bond film, this is one of the best feelings a man is capable of feeling.
   
10. Popcorn. Eating it anywhere else feels wrong and who knew - it tastes awful.

Why Bruce Willis should give up acting

1. Die Hard 5 (sorry, A Good Day to Die Hard) - no single thing sums up better my feelings for Bruce Willis at this point. It was lazy, arthritic and tired.
2. RED 2 Press Tour - Now I didn't mind RED 2 as a movie. In terms of what he's been churning out lately, it's passable. But his attitude during his press tour? Man alive. I don't have a problem with having a laugh with the press, especially those working for non-film publications who churn out the same ridiculous questions ("What's it like being the worlds biggest action star?" Sorry, who? Bruce Willis? Are you in 1990?), but when you're just being plain out rude to everyone who talks to you, you need to shut up and go home. This press tour is helping to pay for your frankly ridiculous paycheck. Yes RIDICULOUS considering you're practically phoning in performances these days.
3. Straight to DVD - No self respecting action star does Straight to DVD unless they are having money issues. Wesley Snipes - Mr Tax Dodger - understood. Steven Seagal - old man who probably needs a new hip - understood. But the man who did Die Hard? Doing so many DVD "hits" it drowns out what few decent films he still does? No thanks.
4. Movies where he's not the lead - I don't want to see Bruce Willis' face/name on the cover of the movie unless he stars in it. This is very close to #3. It's just cheap when you go "oh look, Bruce Willis" and it turns out he's in it for 5 minutes and he's AWFUL and so is the film.
5. Other people are better than him - RED was a great movie. Bruce wasn't too bad. But Karl Urban was very good. Karl Urban then did Dredd. Vin Diesel. Love him or loathe him you wouldn't want anyone else in F&F movies. The Rock - dammit he was in GI Joe 2 with Bruce and did more than him. Bruce Willis played a guy who was retired. NO!
6. He only has one emotion - it's "smarmy bored arse". It worked for him in "The Jackal" (a film I strangely like). Now he's old and bald, it does not work. At all.
7. He wouldn't even do Expendables 3 - So, the film that lets you still rock it with the action guys, and you decide to be all "I'm too good for this" and DEMAND MORE MONEY? Bruce, see #3 - you're raking it in through doing awful movies - at least pay us the courtesy of appearing in some good ones. And yes, the fact I now have to call EX3 "a good one" says SO MUCH about your career right now.
8. Josh Duhamel - Sorry Josh, but you're movie career kryptonite, and Bruce did a "movie" with you (Fire with Fire). People who star in movies with Josh Duhamel go on to wonder where their careers went. See Katherine "What no more romcoms?" Heigl after "Life as we know it", or anyone after Transformers.
9. Your agent clearly has no time for you - Bruce has just announced he's doing a movie called "The Prince" where he doesn't play the lead... and he's a bad guy... and he's not going to be in it very... oh come on. AGAIN?
10. Die Hard 6 - We barely needed the fourth one, the fifth one I've talked about, so there is NOWAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WE NEED A SIXTH.

Why Ben Affleck is a GREAT choice for Batman

1. The Town - off the back of an excellent directing debut on Gone Baby Gone, Affleck decided to direct himself in a movie that people feared was a Heat clone. It turned out to be one of the most solid heist thriller in years, and Affleck turned in a mature, well rounded performance.
2. Daredevil - go back and watch the Directors Cut of Daredevil, and then tell me you still hate it. Compared to trash like Fantastic Four and Spiderman 3, Daredevil is a good movie. And again, Affleck plays the character well (at least within the confines of a not particularly well written script).
3. Oscars - Affleck has got two of them. Yes, neither is for acting (first was for writing Good Will Hunting, and the second was for producing Argo) but there is no denying the man has skills.
4. Ten years sober - Gigli, Jersey Girl (which I liked but can see why people didn't), Surviving Christmas. All pretty terrible movies. But what has he done bad since then? Nothing. It's been nearly 10 years since Affleck had a major role in something bad. So he has learnt his lesson but people are still judging him on his previously bad movies.
5. To The Wonder - not Malick's greatest film, but Malick doesn't work with bad actors. And is Affleck is good enough for him, who are we to argue?
6. He's not Joseph Gordon Levitt - Dark Knight Rises threw us a few nuggets of the world we might expect post-Nolan, and JGL as a potential new Batman/Nightwing/whoever is one of the more interesting ones. My fear was he was so obvious a choice, they'd go with him without thinking about it, but he's way too young to play him yet. His time will come, but Affleck is the perfect age to play a character who needs to be a senior figure to Superman, without being too old.
7. Christian Bale - the world didn't exactly explode with pleasure when Bale was announced as the Nolan Batman. But damn did he prove us wrong.
8. Balls - Man of Steel didn't exactly do amazing ticket sales, and for the new movie to spawn the Marvel-esque saga we all want, they needed a big name. Not many actors would take the risk of jumping into the role so soon after Bale, so it needed a big name with balls. Affleck must have 'em!
9. He's likeable - Again, Man of Steel was pretty po-faced, and needs someone who can not take things too seriously, plus do press junkets without making people hate him (we're looking at you Bruce Willis). Admit it to yourself or don't, but Affleck is actually someone you wouldn't mind being. If nothing else, Jennifer Garner would make you breakfast.
10. He's Ben Affleck - and after all the crap he's got after years of abuse, he's doesn't give a damn what you think. Exactly like... Batman.